Sunday mornings when we arrive at church we go downstairs to practice with the choir for the Sunday anthem. Very close to where we rehearse are the children's Sunday School rooms where about the same time parents are dropping their toddlers off. Well this morning just about the time we were ready to sing, one of our grand children Seth, quickly made his way across the room to Ken where he wrapped his arms around Ken's knees saying " I missed you Grandpa"....followed by another grandson, Isaac who skipped across the room to Ken while gleefully saying "GRANDPA!!!!!".....soon to follow was Annabelle(now walking) who repeatedly said "Bam-Pa, Bam-Pa, while she made her way over to Ken and he scooped her into his arms.
For me this was a joy to behold!!!! After the affirmation from Grandpa, I (from the opposite side of the room) said "hi guys"....and very quickly the whole process repeated itself before they bounded off to their classes.
I reflected on that moment several times today thinking of what else could have occurred. Ken could have said....."Not now, I have to sing", or "Sshhh....you guys have to be quiet", or "Grandpa's too busy". No, just the opposite happened......Ken stopped for the moment...reached out....and was able to see three "happy" kids walk away.
Later, during the sermon, Pastor Lanning remarked on how kids really desire to be happy....and that many times their attitudes and joy are are dampened by the response they get from the adults around them. Many children are over-corrected, or brow beaten, or "never quite measure up" to their adult worlds...and because of that, their joy erodes away....and at some point even later in their young lives, they begin to "tune out" those corrections....thus ignoring the more serious issues in life.
Colossians 3:21 (New International Version)
21Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
This is a timely reminder for us grandparents, aunts, and uncles out there.....as well as parents. What kind of response do the children in your life get from you? what image to they see in the mirror when they look at you? Is it happiness and joy, with a calm? or a frown and a scowl...with a harshness to your voice? I was reminded of this every time I welcomed a student in to my classroom. some of my students were used to being "harped at" for every little thing they did in life....that they were not accustomed to the praise and the encouragement that they found in the choir room. I worked at keeping a "happy" atmosphere.....a musical zone where they were free to express their music, while being respectful to authority.....and by God's grace it worked!!!
While visiting our niece Andrea last week she commented to me about sometimes she just studies the face of their 1 month old son Elliott....and sometimes she's sure she had a concerned look...you know, the one with the "lowered eyebrows"...while she looked at her baby and tried to figure out his needs. Then we talked about when a baby is learning to smile...they really learn it first from their parents...and the reflection in that "parent mirror". Andrea and Clint both smile freely.....so the image Elliott sees will soon bring the precious smile to his face.
That's where the first smiles come from......Happy Adults....Happy Children......a reflection of God's love for us..... Sure there will be the need for correction and discipline as a child grows........but given in the appropriate amounts at the right time....you can still keep "happy" in you child's life and reap the benefits when they too are an adult.